@jordan_stratton: *drinking water* Ahh, yes. Surely this single glass will reverse what I did to my body this weekend.
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@junejuly12: BREAKING NEWS Literally to be eliminated from the English language in 2015 Use it while you can, white girls
@Black__Elvis: For years I thought that my wife was repulsed by me but as it turns out she just doesn't put out on the first marriage.
@danagould: The secret to having all of your dreams come true is to keep changing your dreams to something that's just about to happen anyway.