@jordan_stratton: *drinking water* Ahh, yes. Surely this single glass will reverse what I did to my body this weekend.
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@NeinQuarterly: The #NSA walks into a bar. Bartender: "Got a new joke for you." NSA: "Heard it."
@stewnami: She kept yelling "Choke!, Choke!" to me during sex. So rude. Why would she want me to have a bad performance?
@notalogin: Morpheus: take the blue pill, the story ends. Take the red pill, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes Dog: (staring at gray pills) Crap