@Gooooats: Drive by shootings are just one more example of Americans being too lazy to get out of their cars.
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@seamussaid: my 4yo daughter has 2 older brothers and removes remote control batteries after selecting her program & volume so good luck fellas
@KalvinMacleod: HUSBAND 911: what your emergency? ME: my wife hears everything HUSBAND 911: do I? ME: what? HUSBAND 911: what?
@XplodingUnicorn: Don’t do drugs, kids. The extra demand will drive up the price for the rest of us.
@novicefather: Past employers have described me as "selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."