@Gooooats: Drive by shootings are just one more example of Americans being too lazy to get out of their cars.
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@simoncholland: I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
@GrumpyComments: Batman walks into a Wayne Enterprise meeting and starts talking stocks. He realises he forgot to change. He drops a gas pellet and runs out.
@Sassafrantz: Becky on FB is "too blessed to be stressed" so I told her that I slept with her boyfriend.