@Gooooats: Drive by shootings are just one more example of Americans being too lazy to get out of their cars.
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@SoulYodeler: I think Argentina is quite capable of deciding who it wants to cry for. Stop being so bossy Eva.
@smithsara79: You don't really know true fear until you're headed to work to teach at a middle school after you tried cutting your own bangs
@illTortuga: "Welcome to Panda Express" "I'd like one panda" "Sorry we don't sell pand-" *slips cashier $100* "Meet me in the back alley in ten minutes"
@ArfMeasures: [being chased around my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP, THIS IS JUST SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on