@TheCiscoKidder: Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits.
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@Book_Krazy: [First Date] Me: I can't believe we're on a date! It's not cause my fathers rich is it? Him: No. He's very handsome too Me: CHECK PLEASE
@rumsnipe: Mechanic : your motor is losing power and it won't last long. Me : you been talking to my wife bro?
@FaisalAdam_: I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.
@rzarosco: Ask a girl if she wants to dance. If she says yes then start shooting at her feet. Congratulations you are now Yosemite Sam