@TheCiscoKidder: Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits.
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@Almighty_Smoot: Saturday plans: -get abducted then hunted by a group of rich guys on a game reserve, then systematically take them out one by one. - laundry
@AClkwrkStarfish: The boy is putting whipped cream on the cat. I think he may have overheard a conversation he didn't understand quite so well.
@lucyworld1: If you weren't supposed to eat 15 Oreos in one sitting, they wouldn't package them in rows of 15.
@ArfMeasures: PET SHOP OWNER: So would u like a puppy for your son? ME: Yes [home] WIFE: Where's Tommy? ME [with a puppy] ok so they offered me this deal