@tazsme: [driving] Goddamn pedestrians
[walking] Goddamn drivers
[both] Goddamn cyclists
@trevso_electric: Thanks to ChristianMingle, I met the woman I will put through a terrifying emotional rollercoaster before I finally come out of the closet.
@upsheezy: "Walk it off" does not apply to everything.
Stupidity, for example.
You're not walking that shit off unless it's in to oncoming traffic
@Mr_Kapowski: You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again
@kumailn: "I'm old." -everyone over the age of 18
@neptunemoons: "Mom! Mom! Hold this cockroach while I grab the lizard!"
--Things I honestly never imagined I'd hear as a parent