@tinytittays: Driving with me is like being trapped in a tiny karaoke bar that doesn't serve booze and the worst singer won't get off the stage.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PersianCeltic: When I die I want my tombstone to say free WiFi so people will visit more often. I will also name the network "HELP, I'M STILL ALIVE!"
@TimJohnish: I hate it when you tell someone a lie to sound interesting and then you have to keep it up for several years because you married them.
@Rollmaninoz: [at my funeral] *casket falls onto the floor* Mum: that's the quickest I've ever seen him move Dad: lol owned