@thentherewasmo: Driving with one hand on top of the steering wheel, because "10 and 2" is 12
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@rickkondell: There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
@GBRougecity: "What a nice doggie." "I'll have you know it's not a doggie but a pure bred." "YOU HAVE A DOG MADE OUT OF BREAD??!!!!"
@dave_cactus: ME: I quit texting and driving after the accident. HER: Were you hurt? [flashback to 12 hot dogs rolling off the dashboard] ME: So hurt.
@mommy_cusses: She was murdered by the toddler. In the bathroom. With his hundredth question. -Parent version of Clue