@ScottLinnen: Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
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@online_shawn: I'm open to change but not when it's sudden like Stephen Colbert getting new glasses with no warning
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Be back after lunch! Boss: OK Me: *texts boss APRIL FOOLS LOL* *goes home, turns on baseball*
@KKAlThani: 1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone "It's done. He's dead." 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can
@TheBoydP: TV Anchor: I don't have my Halloween costume yet but it's going to be cool and wet! Me: Wow you go girl! TVA: turning to weather... M: Oh...