@ScottLinnen: Dropped my Ant Farm and now the rug is like the first 30-minutes of Saving Private Ryan.
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@Ray_stephan: A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
@amydillon: OTHER KIDS IN RESTAURANT: Restlessly coloring on a placemat waiting for food. MY KIDS: Have already flipped over a booth & set it on fire.
@marcgravell: 8yo: "I've put my tooth in my room but I'm not saying where - it is to see if the tooth fairy is real or not" - this shit just got real
@mattingebretson: As a kid on summer nights I'd capture fireflies in a jar then show them to my father and say "please buy me a sega this does nothing for me"