@Aaerios: Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower is the most violent sound ever. "U OK in there? Sounds like a Michael Bay film in that bathroom!"
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@animaldrumss: Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Barkeep: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Arnold Palmer: Mmm... its good... I just invented it.
@JermHimselfish: Whipped cream is just shaving cream that does whatever it's girlfriend tells it to do.
@AmishPornStar1: "Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations." -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving
@Cpt_Burnout: REALITY SHOW IDEA: Put 10 tweeters in a house with only 1 phone charger and plenty of booze. BOOM.