@Aaerios: Dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower is the most violent sound ever. "U OK in there? Sounds like a Michael Bay film in that bathroom!"
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@ArfMeasures: ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships
@novicefather: I found three french fries inside my $1 McDouble. Dream big, kids. Anything is possible.
@H0TMessBarbie: I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty.
@jergarl: OMG I love you You're the best You left me Did you bring me stuff OMG Anything I don't care Where have you been I smell someone else -Dogs