@iSmokeJoints: Drug dealers are always late. If your drug dealer is on time, it's the police.
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@bridger_w: OK, Gravity wasn't very realistic. First of all, and I checked this, Sandra Bullock -- not an astronaut
@OfficialMizGin: My mom when I was a kid: “Never talk to strangers.” “Never get in their cars.” Me to my future kids: “Here’s how to order an Uber.”
@bazecraze: I imagine the hardest part of becoming a supervillain is getting your doctorate.
@YoungNobler: Places to learn how to chug your drink: 1. College frat 2. Airport security line
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