@partlyfunny: Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer. Unless the question is why did you shit on the sidewalk last night?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MichaelLarrick: Being illiterate and having a girlfriend would be easy. They'd be like "did you get my text?" and you could just be like "I can't read."
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: How many beers did you have while I was gone? Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.
@DaHess1: Anytime I see a happy white couple in their 30's sitting in front of a laptop, I just assume they are filming a credit score commercial.