@RyanKeith15: Drugs don't kill people. People that don't have drugs kill people.
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@Brianhopecomedy: I inform my 4 year old that she's going to a friend's house 5 minutes before we leave so she only asks me when we're going 6000 times.
@NoTheOtherJohn: ME: judging by this blood stain the murderer appears to have been a turkey ACTUAL POLICE OFFICER: That's a hand print
@Where__wolf: You guys have been the worst hostages I've ever used, hands down. *everyone lowers their hands* GODDAMN IT!!