@ImaFlyontheWall: Drunk me used to set a "Mystery Alarm" on my phone to pop up and confuse daytime sober me
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@Rollmaninoz: I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back.
@WheelTod: Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one.
@dafloydsta: Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction.
@collegefession: "I always keep a textbook with me when I hook up with girls so there's no walk of shame I'm an early morning scholar #3.9GPA" - NSU