@JessiCanadian: Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: Coworker: Do you have any snacks? Me: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I HAVE SNACKS? DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE SNACKS? Coworker: Me: Top desk drawer.
@Parker_Simpson: always good to put one of those Apple stickers that comes with ur iPhone on your car so thieves know which car to break in to.
@realHamOnWry: What did I learn getting fired today? Never walk behind your boss, poke his bald spot and yell, "Hey, you've got a hole in your haircut".
@TheBoydP: HGTV has taught me you can do anything if you have the right tools. I’ve also learned that any handyman you hire will have those tools.