@JessiCanadian: Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
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@Mr_Kapowski: My favorite sushi bar is the one where you can yell "ARF, ARF" like a seal and the chef throws raw fish in your mouth
@The_JRM: 5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true.
@LOUD_Thoughts_: People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.