@JessiCanadian: Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
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@Sleinso: *Goes to local train station* *Runs into platform 9¾* *Head bangs against wall* Family: What were you doing? Me: *whispers* Pfft! Muggles.
@joeheenan: 10 years ago today, I married my best friend... My wife's still really angry about it but me & Dave were drunk & thought it was funny
@TheDairylandDon: No matter how many shocking surprises life throws at you, you're never quite prepared to hear a British person pronounce the word "vitamin"