@TheUrbanSlangs: Drunk - When you have to hold on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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@MikeDrucker: TWITTER USERS: It would be nice if you stopped people making death threats. TWITTER: OK, but what if those death threats could be LONGER?
@ericsshadow: If she calls me lazy again, I swear I'll get off this couch and go take a nap in bed.
@SortaBad: [karate tournament] coach: Billy sweep the leg! me in the crowd: haha hey billy vacuum his head! *Billy just wails opponent with a Dyson*