@TeaPartyCat: Duck Dynasty guy is right-- if we baptize all those ISIS guys, Iraq will be safe because Christians never start wars for bullshit reasons.
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@awordforaword: Doesn't get paid: has popcorn and vodka martinis for dinner. Gets paid: has popcorn and raspberry vodka martinis for dinner.
@TheRolo: She says she only drinks wine to collect corks for her Pinterest project, which is pretty cool cause it looks like she's building a castle.
@browneyegirl9: If you don't like the idea of wiping someone's ass in the middle of eating a delicious meal, you probably shouldn't become a parent.
@Jenny4ashley: No thanks, marriage. If I wanted to stop getting laid I would just start wearing crocs.