@lovemyboots111: Duct tape can't fix stupidity, but it can muffle it.
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@tastefactory: GUY 1: I beat cancer GUY 2: I backpacked thru Europe GUY 1: So what? GUY 2: And I didn't tell anyone about it when I got back GUY 1: You win
@tiffstevenson: Boyf said I look really pretty when I'm concentrating...I realised its cos I'm quiet! Either way it's the last time I let him watch me poo
@jeffswarens: By the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen. I think I'm supposed to go volunteer to help with something
@jbillinson: Obama: Tell Joe why he can't booby trap the White H- Biden: Now hold on a second, just know that no matter what you say I'm doing it anyways