@NervousJr: Dude, I can't tweet AND know when the light turns green.
I'm pretty, not magical.
@ComedyAndTruth: Parents: What foreign language class are you taking this year? Me: Math.
@Sanbel11: My superpower is turning "never again" to "ok, one more time"
@markleggett: Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."
@behindyourback: I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense
@KyleMcDowell86: Step1) Buy 100 cans of tuna
Step2) Drain the cans into a bucket
Step3) Soak ur cloths in the tuna water
Step4) Go outside & get all the cats