@Kristen_Arnett: dude in this airport saw me reading and said “oh you like literature, have you heard of....... charles dickens” and i said no
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@WiseguyPictures: "I feel like I got off on the wrong foot." - Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance
@3sunzzz: Tip from my mom: Always wear your bathrobe when at home. Then if somebody stops by unexpectedly you're "just about to hop in the shower".
@sbrooks13: Accidentally took an adderall instead of an anti-depressant now I'm SUPER focused on my depression.
@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.