@lcspt: Dude is texting with a flip phone, just like George Washington did
@bingowings14: You shouldn't underestimate the number of places that you can't put your finger after you've been chopping chillies.
@StansaidAirport: Festive Fact: Women who put on weight over the festive period are 98% more likely to live longer than their partners who point it out.
@PJTLynch: Hospitals make mistakes with newborns, so before bringing yours home, check by rubbing its belly. If it curls in and bites you, that’s a cat