@relatabledad: dude *scoffs like 7 times in a row* of course i'm not a virgin... i have lots of *starts readin hand, ink is hella smudged* secular intercom
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@SocialExtortion: I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend. Seriously, I'm taking a selfie and you're in the background
@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...