@noimnotjewish: Dude, the fact that I called YOU to bail me out of jail is quite the compliment, so let's dial back that "It's 4 am!" attitude, mmkay?
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@dril: ISSUE: is the road runner wile e coyote's son FOR: thhey, seem to respect each other, on some level AGAINST: one of them is a dog
@tkhan74: I've been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don't know how to tell her I forgot her name.
@AGreaterMonster: Thinking about implanting a magnet in my chin so I can make a badass beard of iron filings and paper clips. More attractive, yes?
@TheMichaelRock: I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet.