@jazmasta: Dude, what part of "I don't speak your language" don't you understand?
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@dwaghalter: "What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome
@bobvulfov: One time i saw a man eat a whole apple, core and everything. Motherboard and power supply too. The man ate a computer it was horrifying
@2014longview: Cop pulled me over said "papers" I replied with "scissors, I win" and drove off. Now I'm doing hard time on the rock.
@KeetPotato: me: "i don't appreciate being laughed at" seaworld employee: "sir that's just the noise dolphins make"