@thetobbie: Dudes, how can we keep track of how long it's been since we've been on a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair...
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@roxiqt: THEM: "Pineapple should never be on pizza! It's a fruit!" ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] "Well, I have some bad news for you about where tomato sauce comes from, kid."
@DrunksWithGuns: If you blast Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is", the naked old guys in the gym locker room cover up pretty damn quick.