@thetobbie: Dudes, how can we keep track of how long it's been since we've been on a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair...
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@meganamram: If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss
@KalvinMacleod: HR: How do you think we can better handle this in the future? ME [glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut]: idk, maybe don’t hire Cheryl
@ActuallyEmerson: Sometimes I answer your rhetorical questions because I think you are that stupid.
@lisaxy424: I would most likely die like 45 minutes into a zombie apocalypse, and even more likely it would not be zombie apocalypse related.