@thetobbie: Dudes, how can we keep track of how long it's been since we've been on a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair...
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@buhsbaby_baby: Me: I LOVE Pokémon Go! Him: Are you just collecting caterpillars and putting them in your purse?! Me:
@Fred_Delicious: [Lawyer] "I can't stress this enough. You cannot plead that you're a wizard ok?" "ok" [Later in court] "I plead that im a wizard your honor"
@SardonicTart: "Act your age!" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt.