@PortRooster: Due to a tragic "iTunes on shuffle" incident, I have had to convince the guys at work that I have a 12yr old daughter they have never met...
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@TheMichaelRock: Wife: were you even listening to me? Me: no Wife: then what did I just s...wait, what? Me: I said no Wife: I'm not sure what to do now
@XplodingUnicorn: [buys plastic lightsabers for the kids] 5-year-old daughter: Mine is broken. Me: What's wrong with it? 5: It doesn't even cut off arms.
@PaperWash: Karate Kid (1984) A Japanese man teaches a desperate young boy about bullying by forcing him to fix his house.