@Matt_the_1st: Due to an unforeseen error during last night's love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
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@dafloydsta: INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?
@PaperWash: [Oreo meeting] What about 'sextuple stuffed' "That's just inappropriate Jeff you're fired" [later googling Sextuple] "Omg that's genius"
@LoveNLunchmeat: *puts on Rocky theme music* *cracks neck* *cracks knuckles* *stretches* *jogs in place* *picks up phone to call mom*