@Matt_the_1st: Due to an unforeseen error during last night's love making session I am forced to wear non matching socks today
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@juliussharpe: I bet "Fifty Shades of Grey" won't make that much money because most of the people who want to see it are tied to a bedpost.
@ABurgerADay: [tsunami approaches] Me: At last I will feel oblivion's sweet embrace. Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend.