@Peachyisk: Due to recent cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
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@DaddyJew: 7: I wanna watch a movie Me: its late, sleep 7: I WANNA WATCH A MOVIE M: fine *puts in Texas Chainsaw Massacre* goodnight you little shit
@Arbitral: Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker.
@goodballs: How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos.