@Peachyisk: Due to recent cutbacks the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
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@SpankMeIm0ty: At the rate I'm throwing shit out as I pack to move there's a strong possibility not all the kids will make it to the new house
@UrbanDouchebag: I'm going to hire a Priest, a Doctor and a Rabbi to walk into a bar together just to see WTF happens. Backup Plan: I'll also bring a horse.
@PetrickSara: Me: Ok, who got Oreo filling on the couch? Husband: 4: 7: Me: Well... 7: It really could have been any of us. 4: (licks couch)
@bobvulfov: FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend ME: generic excuse FRIEND: did u just say "generic excuse"