@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.
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@chuuew: POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: So he had grey hair, medium build, grey eyes, no glasses, a grey suit and grey shoes? DOG: Correct
@stevevsninjas: [samurai kindergarten] Sensei: CHILDREN! We do not hit each other. What do we do? Kids: *in unison* We use our swords.
@thomasdynamic: You play the cards life deals you. They are Monopoly cards. You are a small pewter dog and you have won second prize in a beauty contest.