@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.
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@FlyJ_: I went to the gym today. Just kidding, I walked down the block and yelled at the neighbor kids for screaming while I'm trying to nap.
@elle91: My dating life can best be compared to credit card companies that send you a million applications and reject you when you finally apply.
@AimeeHelene1: *seductively slides hand along store shelf to distract you* *grabs last bag of Cheetos* *tucks, rolls, and runs away*