@TheMichaelRock: Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am currently sober.
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@Fred_Delicious: "Members of the jury, how do u find the defendant?" "we... can't find him at all" "DAMMIT THIS IS THE 3RD MURDER WALDO HAS GOTTEN AWAY WITH"
@Reverend_Scott: [Starbucks] Excuse me, this isn't what I ordered. "You ordered a Grande." Yes, but this is Ariana Grande. "Sir, please just take her."
@dubstep4dads: [using ouija board] R2...L2....L1....R2...LEFT...DOWN... "what the hell?" [everyone is suddenly carrying like 8 different guns]