@TheMichaelRock: Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am currently sober.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@weismanjake: If I were a cop and pulled a woman over for speeding I would keep crying until she let me give her a ticket.
@iamburtjarvis: nurse: are you allergic to any medicine? me: laughter nurse: hahaha. OH MY GOD- me [face swelling up]: i thold thou.
@jaggings: Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.