@ElleOhHell: "Dumb as a bag of hammers" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once.
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@ilayew: i'm the girl your mom warned you about... long nails, big eyes, purple tongue, green skin. i'm reptar. i'm reptar from rugrats.
@baycontaco: I've started picking up dudes by walking into Starbucks and "accidentally" dropping my recipe for bacon tacos.
@VerbsRProudest: Never answer knocking at your door. It's always people. Always. Never giant chocolate bars. Only people.