@boring_as_heck: [dumps gatorade on coach after losing the big game] we know how much you hate gatorade you piece of shit
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@KeetPotato: never trust a person who says they don't like chocolate, even dogs eat chocolate and it kills them
@dank_dino: *judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*
@CaseyMichelle__: Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: How dilated is she? Nurse: 4 centimeters. Me: This is America. Nurse: 0.000198838 furlongs.