@JagAskell: Dunno how you Americans have the motivation and energy to pronounce the 'y' in 'basil' and 'tomatoes'.
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@MattMcElaney: Cashier's playing dumb cause I said "venti" at a non-Starbucks. You know what I mean, dude, just point me to the biggest dildo you guys got.
@TheGladStork: Computer: Do you trust this device? Me: Why? Is there something you're not telling me?
@Jeff_G_Nixon: 3yr old: [whispering] I have a secret "What it is, sweetie?" 3: [shouting] I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is?" 3: [whispering] no.