@JagAskell: Dunno how you Americans have the motivation and energy to pronounce the 'y' in 'basil' and 'tomatoes'.
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@JediGigi: Mom asked me what it's like being a single middle aged woman so I took a handful of cat & dog hair from my purse and threw it in her coffee.
@liv_thatsme: I wish I had a black stallion, so any time I got really pissed, I could angrily ride along the ocean.
@theshamingofjay: Sometimes I end up watching cartoons after my kids have left the room. On a related note, has anyone seen my kids?
@Storminika: Me: "Dude, I brought another dress for you to clean." Dry cleaner: *takes off headphone* "Sorry, come again?" Me: "No, mustard."