@loribuckmajor: During fireworks is the best time to shoot someone.
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@HeyZeus666: If a baby like Justin Bieber is the face of teen angst and rebellion, then we've bubble wrapped our kids too tight.
@flashember: ME: I'm so happy, I could treat a horse! WIFE: *sighs* That's not a saying [spoon-feeding ice cream to horse] Don't listen to her Mr Butters