@loribuckmajor: During fireworks is the best time to shoot someone.
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@StarWarsProblms: Anakin: Want to go out? Padmé: Ew. You’re 9. Anakin: Padmé: Talk to me in a decade when the age gap between us is exactly the same.
@Manda_like_wine: Son, your father and I have something to tell you - you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car.
@anildash: Eventually one of these Republican congressmen is going to find out his daughter is a woman, and then we're all set.
@YUCKYBOT: Can you guys give me the names of some famous athletes and prisoners? I'm making a pros and cons list.