@SarahThyre: During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.
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@EricMarten: It must have been really strange for Jesus to be the only white guy in the entire Middle East.
@madcaplaughs30: The first guy to skip a rock was probably all sad and just trying to toss the rock in the pond and was like "well, can't even do that right"
@Sassafrantz: I THINK [boyfriend goes by] YOU'RE TOO [boyfriend goes by] YOUNG FOR ME [boyfriend goes by] -me breaking up w/ my boyfriend at the carousel
@kwirkyKerri: Then Satan said, "Let's convince everyone they need to go gluten free." And that kids, was the Christmas fiasco of 2015.