@SarahThyre: During love scenes in a Wes Anderson movie, the sound effects guy rubs a baguette against corduroy.
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@flashember: WIFE: Every time I get close, I get hurt. THERAPIST: Is this true? PORCUPINE HUSBAND: *bristles* OF COURSE IT'S TRUE I'M A BALL OF NEEDLES
@schumoo: Just tell me how many calories are in the entire package and save me the trouble of doing all the multiplication.
@LeagueofNope: I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!