@MavenofHonor: [during lull in conversation] maybe people who say the earth is flat are thinking of maps
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@squirrel74wkgn: *walks in at 3am* Wife: OMG, what happened? Me: I was attacked. [front door 5hrs later] Neighbor: What happened to our inflatable Santa?
@mariokeyparty: It's kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn't
@RockabillyJay: If fire shoots out of the chimney the Papal Conclave has selected a new drummer for Slayer.