@hangin_out: During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
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@AimeeHelene1: I've developed a rash from my wedding ring, which can only mean my body is rejecting marriage.
@PopSlapFunk: I don't mean to brag about my patience, but I just waited 5 whole seconds before passing a student driver and flicking them off.
@topaz_kell: When there's a police car behind you with their lights flashing... It means speed up, right?