@GrantTanaka: During the bank robbery, I was the one who heroically soiled himself & cried in order to incapacitate the robbers with laughter
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@squirrel74wkgn: No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into.
@lurie_john: January 27th is Mozart's birthday. Mozart died at 34 years old. Had he lived he would be 259 years old on Tuesday
@XplodingUnicorn: What I was supposed to teach my kid before kindergarten: 1) phonics 2) writing 3) math What I actually taught her: 1) the dance to Thriller