@lovemydogduck: During the day I don't believe in ghosts, But at night I'm a little bit more open minded
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@HairyJew4Life: The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.
@emmkaff: Scientists: Don't freak out about Ebola. Everyone: *Panic!* Scientists: Freak out about climate change. Everyone: LOL! Pass me some coal.
@GrowlyGrego: Kiss me you fool. Embrace me you dolt. Cuddle me you simpleton. Marry me you megalomaniac. HAVE MY BABY YOU GARBAGE PERSON.