@markhoppus: During the zombie apocalypse I strap my Fitbit to an ever-wandering cadaver to beat all my friends' step counts.
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@PJTLynch: Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD
@UncleDuke1969: Laugh, and the world laughs with you... Keep saying "LOL" out loud, and you'll die alone. (For Judy in Accounting)
@KPsych29: My eyes physically can't roll any higher up into my skull to show you how annoying you are.