@Usetobeabastard: Dust bunnies are great pets because they thrive on neglect.
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@carlyken: "I'd like one personal pizza please" Pizza: Your life's a mess. You should lose 10 pounds. Call your mother. "Whoa maybe not that personal"
@MissNaughty1801: I imagine some people are like...: 'should I take the shower?...no...I'm taking the train today...'
@Brianhopecomedy: In a marriage it's always a competition to see who can look busier, hence why I sighed and shook my head repeatedly while writing this.