@Usetobeabastard: Dust bunnies are great pets because they thrive on neglect.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!
@weinerdog4life: No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropped it, that's why I dropped it.
@Parentpains: Sometimes in life you have to give the people around you a little push, into traffic.
@jonnysun: "ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey