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@TheWriteStuff2u: Dyslexics are teople poo!
@Scdavis24: I emailed my ex-girlfriend "Are you still alive" and she emailed back "No" which made me sad but also excited that they have email in hell.
@ShanaRose21: 69 is the kamikaze of sex. If I'm going down, you're coming with me.
@badAzz_mom: You're not allowed to say "long story short" after talking for 30 minutes.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Do you want a burger or a hot dog?
Her: Neither. I'm vegan.
Me: Feel free to eat as much grass as you want.
DATE: Tell me something naughty about you
ME: Sure [loudly chewing a steak] I haven't brought any money