@HumorParasite: E-incense to mask e-joint e-odor.
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@semple42: The date was going so well until he called me gorgeous and I blew a bubble out of my nose on accident.
@truegritrumble: Apparently I’m no longer allowed to walk my pet on public streets because it’s “scaring children” and "a crocodile.”
@RoosterMustache: WIFE: omg the FBI ME: thats just female body inspectors W: why are they here M: probably all those female bodies we buried W: o yah lol
@SadieSkyNinja: I've dated a guy who collected stained glass and wore bowling gloves so don't talk to me about standards.