@HumorParasite: E-incense to mask e-joint e-odor.
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@joejwest: COP: You seen an escaped evil octopus? ME: No COP: [looks up] Nice chandelier ME: Thanks COP: Why is it wet? ME: Um COP: And holding 8 guns?
@causticbob: I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point. She turned around and found out I was walking her home.
@iRowlf: I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. "Sir, those are Band-Aids." Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.
@sweb74: Studies found that 1 in 4 men are gay, meaning someone in my close group of friends is gay. I hope its Dave, he's really cute...