@HumorParasite: E-incense to mask e-joint e-odor.
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@gruffybeard: The Jews probably would've wandered the desert for a lot less time if someone had just deleted Pokémon Go from Moses iPhone.
@Dawn_M_: [drive thru] I just really need to talk about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and you're the only one awake.
@Book_Krazy: [Couples Therapy] HER: He keeps pretending he's a doctor. This relationship is dead HIM: I'm calling it. Time of death, 9:26 ME: OMG SEE!