@ms_woodsy: Each and every pizza can be a personal pizza if you just believe in yourself and don't have any friends.
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@daemonic3: [grocery store] Ok, milk... Check! Eggs... Check! Tomatoes... Check! "Sir, can you wait for the total and just write one check please?"
@BoogTweets: *Full parking lot* Me: IF THERE IS A GOD, FIND ME A SPOT AND I WILL BECOME RELIGIOUS! *spot opens up* Me: NEVER MIND, I FOUND ONE!
@iGreenMonk: I hate when films say " 'MAY' contain nudity?" Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME