@Brentweets: Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can't keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian.
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@envydatropic: I've been on my best behavior ever since the words "you can be charged as an adult" applied to me
@GeauxSaints79: Coworker: What's so funny M: Twitter Cw: Oh! I'm on there, what's your @ M: I meant twizzlers.. Cw: You're looking at your phone. M:...
@GrowlyGrego: Next time during church, stand up and ask your pastor "Have you ever turned down heroin?" Both Yes and No are equally entertaining answers.