@loribuckmajor: Each time my husband yells for the Warriors an angel (me) uses his credit card.
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@NotARatsAss: My night was going great until a neighbor flew their drone over my property. So I grabbed my shotgun and yelled, "Pull!"
@thongbeard: Just texted her "thanks for choking on me" I meant "checking" but kinda curious what the response is gonna be.
@ElgatoEsmio: We met for coffee yada yada yada next thing I know we're in the back of my car covered in lobsters and her dog is driving us to the ER