@Rollmaninoz: Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child.
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@PFTompkins: Jurassic Park III on AMC. 10 min. in, 2 young scientists studying dinosaur fossils. FOSSILS. Hey, 'member how THERE ARE ALIVE DINOSAURS NOW?
@Steven37366100: [millennial children kindergarten roll call] Teacher: Nancy? Nancy: here Nanci: here Nancee: here Pnancy: Here Gnancy: here
@trish07tx: How to piss me off: rearrange the grocery store. How to send me into a psychotic rage: rearrange the liquor store.
@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?