@Rollmaninoz: Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child.
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@Nahdude83: Got kicked out of the casino again. Apparently, gold chocolate coins mess up their slot machines or something.
@Social_Mime: He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.
@JillBidenVeep: Joe: Just met with Secret Service Barack: Oh yea? Joe: I got them to agree to call Trump "David S. Pumpkins"
@MacAnnabella: Me: "Gee Thanks for spilling Cheerios all over the floor." 3yo: "You're welcome Mom, look at this!"*scatters more on floor I deserve that.