@WheelTod: Early in any job interview be sure to use the phrase "I always give 110%", so you can quickly gauge their tolerance for working with idiots.
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@iliezabeth: REPORTER: how does it feel that ur tweet got like 0 favs? ME: it made me laugh so I dont think its so bad R: how does it feel 2 be wrong tho
@NotthatAdamWest: On this day in 1969, the 1st episode of Scooby Doo appeared on TV, beginning a golden age of teenagers getting high in the back of vans.
@silvertongue37: I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.