@ericsshadow: Earth is huge. There must be like 9 or 10 different countries on this thing.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 2 year old woke up. 5 minutes of "Mommy!" 5 minutes of "Mommy?" Said "Daddy?" one time & my wife said, "You should go check on her".
@KatieBurnett: To the guy who turned the entire first floor of his house into a giant ball pit - I will find you, and I will marry you
@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.