@neiltyson: Earth is indeed bipolar, but it's not a disorder.
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@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.
@TheToddWilliams: Wife: I'm glad you're watching TLC and looking to improve yourself. So who are your new friends? Husband: These would be your Sister Wives
@FeelingMervis: Damnnnnn gurl... I wanna to take you back to my place, get you alone and just do work on your grammar.
@cakemittens: Adulthood - Pros: you can eat ice cream in bed. Cons: this will somehow make you sadder.