@neiltyson: Earth is indeed bipolar, but it's not a disorder.
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@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.
@BooFricketyHoo: That awkward moment when you are introduced to someone and you have no idea if that person is their child or their spouse.
@DaddyJew: Cop: license and registration Me: that won't be necessary officer *places a glazed donut in his pocket
@jonnysun: a person who loves cats is not a cat person theyre a dog person who loves cats. a cat person is sombody who is completley apathetic to cats