@neiltyson: Earth is indeed bipolar, but it's not a disorder.
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@Cheeseboy22: One of the World's Strongest Man events should be "Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."
@BobTheSuit: My Alexa overheard my Roombas talking and, long story short, I now have 114 Roombas in my living room circling their god, Alexa.
@SteveSuckington: I can't figure out why my son hates me. Tim hates you? No, my other son. I can't remember his name. I just call him "not Tim"