@TheTweetOfGod: Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems
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@ruinedpicnic: me: wow a pegasus flying horse: actually Pegasus was just one horse we all have different names me: oh whats yours flying horse: Pegasus 2
@markedly: [talking with ex] Me: Is he more boring than me? Her: He is. Me: *devastated* How could you?
@_SetTheHook_: Just looked in my 8 yr old son's bedroom and I'm pretty sure it can't be ruled out that the Malaysian jet may be in there somewhere.
@GlennHowerton: Happy St. Paddy's Day, everyone. I stayed in tonight. I'm not allowed to go out on St. Paddy's Day anymore. It's too much.