@TheTweetOfGod: Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: At this point the only thing Lady Gaga could do that would shock me is to come out on stage wearing a sensible pantsuit from Talbots.
@ClichedOut: Mother Paper Bag: We need to talk. Teen Bag: *removes earbud* What? M: Your father was plastic. T: But - M: It's true. You're a mixed bag.
@FBSisnothere: You know you have something special w someone when u start finishing their sentences. But enough about me & my local Subway sandwich artist