@kiralc: Earth? yeah, I'd hit that -meteor
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@gman_kam: When black guys say "ya feel me?", I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.
@_eric_alexander: I'm gonna start carrying breath mints around in an engagement ring box just to briefly make women really uncomfortable during conversation.
@SteveSuckington: [2nd time at girls house] "where's your dog?" Oh he isn't mine. I was dog sitting [makes text alert sound w mouth] "Its work. I gotta go"
@TheBananaFacts: Bananas will never talk shit about you. Not because they don't have mouths....but because they respect the choices you make.